Tag Archives: Sex

Dear Future Husband: That I Haven't Met Yet.

Dear Future Husband

It seems to be all the rage right now for single Christian women to blog an open letter to their future husband about why they choose to wait for them ( and by wait, Yep, I mean SEX – you thought I wouldn’t say it didn’t you?) . So in honor of the end of wedding season (Say Yes To The Dress marathons are in my future), and seeing as I am a 28 ( going on 102) year old who is….. yep, you guessed it – not married. I thought I would take a crack at it. I recently read an article from The Common Queen titled “I’m losing my patience while waiting for you“. It was a good article, and I get where she is coming from. The waiting game is not easy, but all signs point to incredibly worth it. So without further ado…

 
Dear Future Husband,
I am not the worlds standard of beauty, and at this point in my life I’m ok with that. I will never be perfect, blemish free, or a model. I run into doors, break my toes, scratch, cut, burn, and bruise myself – and that’s just from making dinner tonight. Sounds like a winner right!? I’m not perfect, and if I guess correctly you won’t be either ( and if you are perfect, I will make you prove you are not an alien by showing your belly button – you have been warned. But back to the letter). We will be two imperfect people who are better together than apart. God has been gracious and has shielded my heart from much of the ( self inflicted/other ) heartbreak that my friends encountered through years of dating. I am not the kind of girl who forms deep attachments quickly ( unless it’s a dog, then I love them immediately and without reservation).

 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cold. I’m friendly, outgoing, and a massive foodie. My family ( and backup army) means the world to me, and are second only to my relationship with Christ. I feel incredibly blessed to be an American, and in case you didn’t notice, I kind of like everything Disney.

 
At various moments in my life ( starting at about 20), God has stopped me in my tracks and called me to pray for you. At first it seemed strange, but life grew stranger. Eventually it was the norm, and a little comforting because I believe God would not command me to pray for a man who doesn’t exist.

 
I am not a terribly patient person. I have been known to skip to the end of books just to make sure it has a happy ending. But for you I wait. We will inevitably bump heads on many things in our married life. I don’t want a stumbling block to be my past relationships. This future union is far too important to me to ever risk it over impatience. I want to be your helpmate, love, and protect you, and in protecting my body and soul I not only protect myself, I’m protecting you.

 
I was raised in a legacy of love. My grandparents were married over 60 years, and my parents have been married well over 30 years. I would never risk the chance at 60 years for a moment of supposed pleasure, out of boredom, pressure, or fear of being alone. However, most importantly I wait because a long time ago I made a covenant with God to do so, and being obedient to Him is how I strive to live my life.

 
This will not be a foreign concept to you if you are seeking after Christ, and frankly that is the only kind of man who has a chance with me.

 
So I wait, out of obedience, faith, and love.

 
Everyone at some point is asked to sacrifice or do something hard. To me being a virgin is not hard ( ya, I don’t struggle with saying NO), and frankly I don’t understand Christians who justify sex outside of marriage. There are so many hard things in life. if you deem abstinence hard, wait till someone you love has cancer or you lose your job. Real love IS hard.

 

 

I do, however, struggle with my impatience to meet you, but I keep busy by growing and maturing as an adult. I practice my willingness to serve others, and self sacrificing ( which is not easy), so when I do meet you and we become one, this action of being a help mate is not a strange concept to me.

 
I am not saying I’m a perfect person – far far far from it ( you’ll find out someday).
I believe there is worth and reword in obeying God, but it is more than that, I abstain out of love for my savior.

 
So, in obedience to my God I wait for you.

 
The waiting game is not easy, and it is certainly strange to feel like you were meant for somebody you don’t even know. But the mysteries of this world are far beyond my understanding, and I have far too much to do to sit and ponder it for long. Here’s to our someday, I hope to meet you soon.

 
Sincerely,
Your Future Wife

 
Well, that’s my letter. I know my someday is out there, and for most of you reading this yours is to. To all you ladies ( and gentlemen) in waiting, hang in there, you are not alone. Don’t rush it or try to push someone into a mold they do not fit in just so you can find “the one” faster. That never works out well.

 
PS. If I happened to date some of you men after this article, I am not the kind of girl who starts planning the monogrammed towels and wedding details after the first date. So, don’t freak out.

 
PPS. If you are the kind of man who starts planning the wedding after the first date – keep it to yourself. At least for the first six months, you’ve herd of those studies right? The ones that say the ” puppy love” stage ( or what I like to call the Double Dumb-Ass stage) lasts for at least six months then the real you shines through ( for better or worse). I am not saying don’t let your freak flag fly, I’m just saying don’t skip the getting-to-know-you part of dating.

 
Let me ask you ( not so) gentle readers, why did or didn’t you wait for your someday? If you didn’t wait, I have always wanted to ask if the thought of an STD ever freaked you out ( because it frankly grosses me out)? And if you are currently waiting, what makes you go against the sad cultural norm?

Love Is a Choice

There was a picture from someone’s mom circulating around the internet a little while back. It said:

“You’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever. So think of it this way; you’re one heartbreak closer to happy ever after”.

What a bunch of crap – right! So, being the shrinking violet that I am – I left a comment.

” Or perhaps you should not give your heart so easily, and then you will have less heartache and scars effecting the relationship with the one you are meant to be with”.

Well that got a reaction. The women who responded to my comment was not pleased with my perspective – hence sarcasm ensued ( which I have to admit I loved. It totally cracked me up) she said:

“Why didn’t I think of this” before ” Of COURSE I should know better than to fall in love. because giving your heart to someone is always an intentional, willful choice!”

I think she missed the point of what I said ( or maybe she didn’t, and chose to respond like that – whatever floats your boat). That is why I am choosing to clarify here.

I am explicitly saying LOVE IS A CHOICE.Da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ( nod to The Croods). The truth is we choose to love people who complement us, or people who add drama to our lives. We have free will, and if you believe we don’t choose to love people then you are in essence saying we have no free will ( and wouldn’t that just suck). I mean come on, you choose to love that annoying friend that can’t be trusted, and the ass who keeps breaking your heart. We allow people to come into our lives who we know are not good for us ( not just in dating relationships ), and for whatever reason ( I can fix then, their not that bad, I see the good in them deep deep deep down, they just need someone to love them… ect. ect.ect.) we allow them to stay in our sphere.By saying that you have no choice in falling in love, you are saying I have no choice in who I allow to influence my life. That is the idea of a child not an adult.
I like the verse Proverbs 4:23 especially the New Living Translation
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” there is only one man who was every worthy of determining the course of my life, and he died on a cross for me ( and you) a while back and arose again after three day ( He’s alive, He’s alive, thank God he’s alive). There is always a choice. Don’t give up your God given freedom because you simply don’t want to make a choice, and please for your sake ( and your poor bedraggled best friends out there) choose wisely. Don’t fall for the I’ll be better shtick. If ( and that’s a big if) he (or she, this applies to you too guys) can get better with you then he can get better without you, and if he can’t get better without you then he is not a whole person and has some soul searching and growing up to do.

Do you believe there is no choice in love? Or do you believe as I do, that love is a choice we make? Sometimes we choose well, and other times – not so much.

Hello My Name IS…

Hi my name is Hannah. I’m a 28 year old, single girl part of the late 20-somthings that have no idea where life is taking them. Every time I’m asked ” what do you do?” I feel like a deer in the headlights. I babble out something about being a freelance content writer and artist ( which I am), but still the question make me think “I HAVE NO IDEA what I do, a little bit of this, a little bit of that”. I have the questionable luck of being good at many things, but master of few. And even better, I’m great at managing money, but I still have not figured out how to make much.

Let me further introduce myself:

I live at home, work freelance, I am paying off a student loan ( for a degree in something I will never use. Yep, I was one of those stupid people), I love dogs ( but currently don’t have one which makes me sad), single ( I really do need to get a dog), slightly goofy ( or weird, we might as well not beat around the bush), a foodie ( I love cooking, and I’m good at it), slightly confused and confusing, a libertarian ( you live your life, I’ll live mine, and we be good), and lastly, but most importantly, the only thing that gets me through the rest of the crap…… I’m a Christian.

Let me make myself clear, all ages, beliefs, ethnicity, blaw, blaw, blaw, and blaw are welcome here. In fact, it’s ok if no one sees this blog because now that I thinking about it, it might be better if people don’t know what I’m really thinking. But alas, I need to vent somewhere, and a blog seems to be the best place to do it.

I will be writing on many topics here. Really, whatever catches my fancy. I will give my opinions, and please feel free to give yours. I’ll post videos from my YouTube account, and hopefully entertain you while simultaneously figuring out my own life. So, here’s to living life with full measure folks.

In conclusion, hi my name is Hannah Marie Smith, and I live in California. I am currently under construction. You are welcome to watch the building process ( or train wreck, whatever the case may be).

Cheers Folks!