Ok, I know this is a long post, but it has been on my heart to write about this topic for a while. Bare with me.
Many Christian women blog about picking the servant not the prince, and in essence I agree, but I believe that’s one dimensional thinking. Being a servant is only a part of what God calls us to be. The servant imagery is too simplistic an example of real godly manhood (or womanhood for that matter). I propose a new category. Instead of the prince, the servant, or even a knight in shining armor, how about the knight in tattered armor?
Maybe it’s because I ‘m older and have a better understanding of what it takes to live in this world – but I don’t want prince charming or merely the servant. I seek the battle worn knight. His mettle has been tested, and he may or may not be the victor, but he is still standing ready to fight again if he must. I am not talking about the biggest, brawniest, bravest man in the kingdom ( or city ). I am talking about the man who acts in spite of his fear, stands up for what he believes in, and is obedient to his God. This man comes in many shapes and forms. It’s the quite confidence of a geek, assertion of a jock, strength of a soldier, wisdom of a doctor, the knowledge of a mechanic, or imagination of an artist. The list goes on and on.
None of these men are the same, yet they all hold similar qualities. He honors his family and his God in how he lives his life. Standing in truth, unafraid of commitment, seeks justice, loves mercy, has a servants heart, a warrior spirit, can admit when he is wrong, and walks only with his God . This Man knows it says more in how he fails than how he succeeds. I once heard a saying ( I have no idea where it came from), Meekness is not weakness it is simply strength restrained. So for the quite men out there, I mean you too. Not every knight is outspoken, or the man you notice first.
Knights in shining armor and princes are simply boys, and a servant ( at least in my mind) has a suggestion of forced servitude. That’s why I like the analogy of the knight in tattered armor; Especially, when it comes to looking for an ideal mate. I am not looking for my other half, I am looking for my compliment. We are better together than apart. We are a unified front. This is the man I want by my side in the world. It is inevitable we will encounter strife and hardship, and a man who has been tested and come through the wilderness sane, is the man I want by my side.
In truth both man and woman are sinners, so I think it is accurate to seek someone a little tattered. Frankly if you are “perfect” I’m going to think you are hiding something. Perfection is overrated and fades. And guys, Lord help you if you do not keep a weathered eye out for the women who is seeking this man, for she will be your helpmate and bless your life.
At this point I must put a warning label around the title Knight in Tattered Armor. There is a difference between the battle worn analogy and someone who is truly wounded or cruel. So, this is who I am NOT talking about; I am not talking about the guy who verbally ( or physically) wounds you, the guy who ignores you to play video games, the guy who insists upon his own comfort over everyone else, who can only have fun if he drinks, who can talk the talk, but not walk the walk ( I’m talking about his faith here), or a guy who claims to be smarter than you and everyone around him ( unfortunately, this list could go on and on too). A man who is not seeking the fruit of the Spirit ( which is found Galatians 5:22-23 ” But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” ) is not a knight in tattered armor. He is playing dress-up with tin foil. Look for real metal ( and mettle) underneath, and avoid the posers and users who use their hard times as reasons to be jerks. Especially, if they start blaming everyone else for their current woes. For example, if a man ( or women) starts a sentence/ apology ( if you can call it that) with “I wasn’t like this before ( insert blamed person’s name/ terrible thing that happened to them here)”, run – run for your life.
So, what do you think? Are you still looking for prince charming, the knight in shining armor, or the servant? Or do you seek the embodiment of a warrior servant, the knight in tattered armor? Let me know in the comments section below.
Ps. As I was writing this I somehow turned into a poet and I didn’t know it!
The right guy comes in many shapes and forms
He may be a bit tattered and worn
Even under the roughness you can see
A man of worth stands in front of thee
What more can a woman of God desire
Than a man seeking Gods own heart
By her side, willing to face the fire.